


Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash

by HenryMercury



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, Circus, Epistolary, F/F, F/M, Growing Up, Letters, Multi, Pirates, Polyamory, Sandbender communes in the desert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 20:44:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4680800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HenryMercury/pseuds/HenryMercury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suyin's letters home in the years between leaving her grandparents' and establishing Zaofu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash

_To Mom,_

_~~And Lin, because Mom is probably making you read this to her~~ _

_You haven't heard from me in a long while, though I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa have given you updates. I hope the news of me has been as boring for you to hear as living life here has been for me. I still have almost nothing to say to you, but this letter is notice:_

_I'm sure you've heard by now that I'm not in Gaoling anymore. It's not like you can blame me. You ran away from Grandma and Grandpa first. I'm sixteen now, which is way older than you were when you went to travel the world. It's my turn. Don't send people to find me, because unless you plan to put me in a prison then I'll only leave again. And since throwing me in prison was what you were trying to avoid when you sent me away, I assume you won't do that._

_Don't expect to hear from me again anytime soon. I'll be too busy living my life. ~~By the way Lin, you should really try it sometime~~_

_Suyin_

‹›

 

_To Mom,_

_I'm writing to you because I know you'll just hate the thought of where I am right now. The wooden deck of this ship (a real sailing ship, not one of those steam-powered cruisers) is groaning under my feet as the ocean (and I won't tell you which one, not that I'll be in the same place long anyway) tosses it around. It's particularly rough out here, even compared to the other waters we've come through recently. You'd be able to see it in my handwriting if you were reading. ~~Lin, or~~ whoever is reading this to you can tell you what a mess my characters are. _

_I can't feel the earth at all out here; I get why you hate sea travel so much. Still, the ocean is a beautiful thing in all its vastness and wildness. There are two waterbenders in our crew, but even with their skills taming it is beyond imagination._

_The other thing you'll hate is that this is a pirate ship. It's not the way people think—the pirates are just like anybody else when you get to know them; some awful, but some wonderful and kind and talented. Gong is a wonderful flautist, Jakim an great singer, and Hei a former circus performer. Because I'm small and agile, Hei has me working with her as a rigger. That means lots of climbing ropes, which you would hate. It's dangerous, but so exciting. Hei talks about her circus acrobatics a lot and I think that that life sounds incredible as well. Maybe you don't care to think of lawbreakers as people with all kinds of other qualities, but I'll tell you again that you're wrong. The value of people is hardly black and white. Binary. You know what I mean by the expression._

_We've run into trouble with competitors or ships from the United Forces fleet a few times, but you know I can handle myself even without any earth underfoot to bend. There aren't any other metalbenders in our crew or the others we've met—it's still quite a rare skill away from the big city, in part because most people with the ability head to the cities for training and jobs—so I've had fun watching the surprise on a few people's faces when their swords or knives suddenly warp in their hands. That skill, I think, is mostly why the crew are happy to have me, even if I am getting good as a rigger._

_They call me The Runaway. I tell them not to, because I read the histories about you in Fire Fountain City, running all those scams. ~~Really, how were you ever surprised by the way I turned out.~~ I'm not sure whether they chose that name because of the history, or whether it just occurred to them independently, but they don't know I'm your daughter, in case you're worried about that. Even if someone got into their head that a ransom was a good idea, they'd be an idiot precisely because I'm your daughter. They should know how stupid an idea trying to keep a Beifong prisoner is. _

_That's all I have to say for now, I think. I can't even be sure that this letter will survive in this drenched world until we make landfall and I can send it off to Republic City, but if it does reach you I hope you're suitably horrified by all the fun I'm having._

_Suyin_

‹›

 

_To Mom,_

_I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear I'm no longer sailing the high seas with pirates. A few months after my last letter our ship was severely damaged in a raid, and half our number left to join a new crew headed up by a young captain from the Northern Water Tribe. I didn't like him much, and neither did Hei (the acrobat, to refresh your memory) so the two of us took the small amount of money we'd earned as riggers, bought a couple of ostrich-horses and set off over land._

_We stayed in lots of little villages along the way. Sometimes we were lucky enough to be given lodgings cheaply or charitably. Other times we slept under the stars. I think I've grown to like the latter option better, in fact—at least in the warmer, drier places. You may be astonished to learn that in order to support ourselves we found whatever honest work we could—boring, menial tasks I would never have agreed to do if it weren't for Hei. She has certainly been what you'd consider a good influence on me. Perhaps I've even reformed a little bit. Regardless, I'm proving my own point about people being complicated, multifaceted and changeable._

_Sometimes as we travelled Hei would teach locals dances or acrobatic moves. She was a better dancer than me but I learned a lot from her. I even started to join her in teaching, mostly the younger children. She taught non-bending self-defence, and I taught bending techniques to those who could learn. As we got nearer to Kyoshi Island a lot of locals started asking whether Hei was related to your old friend Ty Lee. Ty Lee was kind of a legend out here. Hei doesn't think they're related, not even distantly, but I'd say she's definitely as skilled._

_We kept heading south past the Apache Mountains, until we heard rumours that Hei's old travelling circus was currently recruiting in the Southern Water Tribe. Hei had been to the south pole once before and she told me all about how beautiful a place it was, so we got on a boat across the Southern Daichi Sea (not a pleasant journey in a small vessel, I can tell you). I don't know where I'll be by the time this letter reaches you, since correspondence is still quite slow coming up from the pole, and I expect to be moving on soon, but Hei and I are presently staying with her old circus friends in the Southern Water Tribe. The things I learned from Hei about rigging, dancing and gymnastics moves, as well as the many fighting katas I already knew have stood me in good stead as a potential recruit. Hei has promised to train me as a real acrobat, if the circus can afford to have me!_

_The Southern Water Tribe is quite a miraculous place. The landscape is so different from any of the Earth Kingdom cities, let alone the big city of the Republic. I don't know how to describe it, but even breathing feels different down here. Not just because of the cold, but because of the space, and the freshness of the air. There's virtually no vegetation but still so much life. The diet here is very meat-heavy, which I'm sure you'd appreciate. Sometimes I actually find myself missing the cabbage soups I always used to complain about as a child. However, after life on a ship, and subsisting as a wandering traveller, I think I can stomach more or less whatever comes my way._

_The people here are absolutely fascinating. There's a child who apparently stowed away with the circus when they came down through the lower earth states. He's from a water tribe family who owned a farm, just far enough north that things could actually be grown. From his tales of the place—exuberantly and eccentrically told; the boy is adorable—the family didn't do very well with their land. All the circus folk have been arguing among themselves over whether to keep him or take him back to where he came from. He can only be seven or eight years old, but I think if he ran away then he must have done it for a reason. He doesn't speak about his parents very affectionately—just about an ostrich horse he calls Mrs. Beaks._

_Hope you and Lin are getting on well enough._

_Suyin_

‹›

_Dear Mom,_

_Included with this letter is an invitation to my circus' upcoming performance in Republic City. We've been winding our way up through the Earth Kingdom for the past several months, never staying in one place longer than a couple of weeks. This nomadic life is never boring, but never easy either. It helps that all the performers band together; we are familiar even when the landscape and the faces in the crowd are constantly changing._

_Hei has taught me so much about acrobatics and trapeze. It's thrilling, flying through the air—similar to rigging and completely different. I'm sure you'd finding it less enjoyable than I do, but you must still be able to relate to the sensation. I love the earth, being connected to it and rooted solidly in place—but to fly is also a wonderful thing, just as floating on the water is. It's wonderful to experience these sensations, especially knowing that I can still step back onto land afterward. Going away helps one appreciate coming back._

_Which brings me to the real point of this letter. By the time you receive this, I will be just days away from Republic City. I'd tell you that you should come and see me showing off my new skills, but in truth you won't be able to see very much of what I do at all, so seldom do I touch the floor. I can't make excuses to disguise the fact that I'd like to see your face again. I'd like to hear your voice, regardless of what you have to say to me. Obviously I hope we can speak like adults, but it's been so long that I don't know what to expect. I don't think the result of us reuniting can be predicted, only discovered by trial and error._

_I'd also really like to introduce you to Hei. I think you would like her a lot. She's adventurous, but she also has her head screwed on, as you'd put it. I have grown up enough to admit that sometimes I get caught up in fancy and imagination. She has been my rock, really, ever since I met her. I care for her a great deal and I find that I want to share this with you._

_The dates and locations of the performances are all included on the flier. We're coming through the city in a hurry, so it's unlikely that I'll get time to go off by myself, to visit home, or the station, or wherever you're spending the most time nowadays. I don't even know for sure that you're still in Republic City (although I find it hard to imagine you'd leave). Perhaps all my letters are piling up in a ditch somewhere, softening and smudging into oblivion when it rains._

_Come and see me if you can. Bring Lin ~~in the unlikely event she has grown into a reasonable person~~ if she is interested._

_Suyin_

‹›

_Mom,_

_I heard about the raids going on in the city, so I understand why you couldn't make it to any of the performances. You've always led a busy life, so I'm not really surprised. I suppose I'm just hoping that being busy is the reason you didn't come, and not that you couldn't stand to see me. Perhaps at some point in the future I'll take a break from the circus and come back to the city with the express purpose of finding you again. I know I haven't exactly been contactable, for my part._

_The idea of taking a break from the circus has its perks. I've been on the move for two years with the circus, half a year with Hei before that, as well as the years with the pirates. I swear I've seen almost every inch of the world by now, besides some of the really desolate places—the very centre of the Si Wong, the outermost parts of the great frozen plains way up north._

_It's also become quite hard for me to be around Hei. While we were in Republic City, she reconnected with a former girlfriend. The woman's name is Marsese, and she is also an acrobat and trapeze artist. She came from Shu Jing, and speaks with the most musical eastern Fire Nation accent I've ever heard. Her hair flows everywhere like wild black silk and Hei is always braiding it and tying it back for her. My hair is too short now for her to do the same for me, but somehow I don't think she would anyway. I saw them together, laughing drunkenly into the night after one of our shows, kissing quickly behind one of the tents, and I realised too late exactly what Hei had meant to me. I confessed as much to her, but it didn't make any difference._

_With Marsese back in the circus, there are also too many people trying to share limited roles. It might be time to move on, as soon as I find something better to move on to. Hei, I realise now, has been the thing grounding me for several years. I feel like I've been cut adrift more completely than ever before. It feels like flying or sailing, but the swirling ocean is inside me and there is no sure promise of land at the end. Suddenly all those songs and poems about how you never forget your first love feel like curses taunting me._

_I'm not sure why I've told you all this. Maybe I've assumed that a mother would want to know. Maybe I've been away so long that I don't know you anymore, Toph. We had our disagreements but I don't want not to know you._

_Suyin_

‹›

_Dear Mom,_

_I'm no longer with the circus. Instead I find myself in one of those rare places I hadn't been—the middle of the Si Wong desert. There's more life out here than you'd expect, although there's no disputing the harshness of the environment. How I ended up here is as follows._

_I was in a bar on one of my off-days (Marsese and Hei were sharing the main stunts between them) when I met a man named Ramung. He was a former United Forces General, but had retired in favour of a simpler life communing with nature. He told me he had chosen to do that in the heart of the desert, and I just laughed my head off, but he bought me another drink and explained that he was living in a commune with a group of open-minded people. They lived self-sufficiently off the land around them, finding it surprisingly rich when approached with proper reverence and understanding. Most had come from far and wide to settle in the commune after travelling the world, and Ramung regaled me with tales of his and the other commune members' most notable adventures for hours._

_By that stage I had grown very restless with the circus, with Hei and Marsese, so I asked Ramung whether it was possible for me to join him, and his communal family. We set off together the next day, travelling to his original destination of Omashu so that he could see his brother, then on to the commune, which is where I am as I write this letter._

_The perspectives of the people here are so different, I feel as though my mind has truly been opened. Compared to so many of them I feel young and inexperienced in the ways of the world, even having traversed it from top to bottom. There is so much generosity here, as well, and it has taken some getting used to, if I'm honest. I didn't have much to my name, but that made sharing what was mine even harder to get used to. You get to love people so much, though, when you live like you're all part of each other. I've only been here a month or so, but already I feel like the desert sun has dried up some of those floodwaters let loose inside me by my troubles with Hei. The sun here certainly is very hot._

_Another thing that's interesting here is the way people think about romantic relationships. In the commune anyone can be family with everyone, and as far as they see it romance is the same. Placing restrictions on the amount of love that should be shared does not lead to greater harmony. I found out about this philosophy when I met Rahi, a very handsome young man who grew up around the Misty Palms Oasis. Rahi is athletic and has the driest sense of humour (Lin might even find him funny) and I fell in love with him more quickly than I'd ever intended. I was still unsettled from the business with Hei, you understand. Rahi and I grew closer, but then one night I found out that he and one of the other young women, Ziri, were lovers._

_They explained to me their belief that loving one person fully doesn't mean you can't also love another just as much. Friends and family are not exclusionary that way; why should romantic relationships be? I don't know what you must think of all this, Mom, but I think it makes a lot of sense. People can be many things at once, and do many things at once. They can love many people at once in a whole spectrum of ways, none of which need to invalidate each other._

_I'm still not sure how I feel about Ziri, in what way I love her, but I'm confident we'll figure it out. She is a talented musician, and a master bender of sand. She creates all kinds of intricate art with it. I wish I could show you these masterpieces—some of them voluminous sculptures, others flatter and more focused on texture and line. It's been challenging, adjusting to the way sand feels and the demands placed on a bender who has to manipulate a billion separate granules simultaneously. It's so entirely different to metal, the way it shifts and rearranges itself too easily. Once again I can't imagine you'd enjoy the feeling of trying to see through it. The desert is magnificent in is ways, though. So far it has proven itself to be both the least and most hospitable place I can imagine._

_I intend to stay here for the foreseeable future, so if you do want to write back I will be able to pick up mail at the nearest town. I'll be checking regularly._

_Love, Suyin_

‹›

_Dear Mom,_

_Your letter brought me so much joy, brief though it was. Whose hand was it written in? It didn't look like Lin's, unless she's replaced her old possum-chicken scratch with its perfect opposite. How is Lin? You didn't mention her._

_Now that you're retired, perhaps you could come to visit me in the desert! I'm sure everyone here would be thrilled to meet the legendary Toph Beifong. But perhaps it's asking too much, given your feelings about sand._

_In answer to your concerns about sand sharks and other wildlife out here, it's really quite rare that we encounter any trouble. Some of the skilled hunters manage to bring in a kill (never more than the land can spare, of course) once in a while, but unless they go out with the intention of finding the larger animals, they usually don't see any up close. I've tagged along on a few hunting trips recently, since I'm great with weapons, even if my sandbending skills need improvement. The chase is great fun. I think, secretly, that maybe the lifestyle here is so completely peaceful that I need a bit of a fight once in a while. I love it here, but the longer I stay the clearer it becomes that this is not my final destination. It is an illuminating stopover, though._

_Rahi, Ziri and I are all very close now, along with another man called Salri who recently returned from a trip to the south pole. He was born and raised here in the commune, but his parents had emigrated from the Southern Water Tribe so he wanted to go back and discover his roots. I can hardly imagine what a shock going to the pole must be for someone accustomed to the Si Wong, but Salri is the kind of man who takes everything in stride. He loves animals (I sometimes feel bad for finding so much joy in hunting them), knows everything there is to know about the stars, and writes the most ridiculous poetry whenever he has a single sip of cactus juice. He doesn't like to fight, not even verbally. For his sake I shudder at the thought of what it would be like introducing him to you and Lin. I say this with affection for you, of course._

_It was so good to hear from you, I barely have the words. I am sorry for what happened those years ago. I hope that has been clear._

_Love, Suyin_

‹›

_To Lin,_

_Now that I'm back in contact with Mom, I figured I should try and reach out to you as well. I don't know how many of my letters over the years you've read, if any, but either way I'll spare you the updates on my life until I know you want them. Maybe my previous letters are impaled on the dartboard across from your desk. Do you still have that dartboard? I suppose even if you do have one, it must be a replacement. You always did go through those things fast._

_I know you're still angry with me. You hold grudges, and I admit you have a right to hold on to this one. How did the cuts on your face heal? You must hate me every time you look in the mirror and see them. Things like this can't be undone, but I want us to find a way to move past them._

_How many promotions have you had since I left? Are you and Tenzin still dating? What's your hair like nowadays? I'd really like to know how you are, Lin. You'll be able to reach me at this address._

_Suyin_

‹›

_Dear Mom,_

_I wrote to Lin a few months ago but I haven't had a reply. Is she still at home, and working with the Department? I hope you both are well._

_I understand your refusal to venture out into the Si Wong. It would be best for us to meet somewhere we could both be at ease._

_I have a lot of news to share, and I've thought long and hard about how even to begin relaying it. I suppose the logical starting point is Salri (my partner with Water Tribe heritage). Ever since Salri arrived and we began seeing each other, Rahi and Ziri had been drifting closer together, and further from Salri and I. We all still loved each other very much, but that relationship was constantly changing and shifting, just like the sands of the desert. Rahi, Ziri and I continued as friends but not as lovers, while Salri and I grew closer still for some time. The whole process felt more like evolution than any kind of fracturing or breakage. Salri often describes it in terms of waterbending—a comparison which I think is both apt and fantastically poetic._

_Salri accompanied me on one of my visits to check for mail, and we spent the night at a small inn. It so happened that a small exhibition was being held at a local arthouse—the gallery was barely more than a corridor crammed between two shopfronts, but that made it a nicely intimate affair. The artist was also an architect, which showed in his drawings and his sculptures. They were marvellous, Mom. I knew right away that their creator must be a genius. I told Salri so, as we took our time making rounds of the gallery, and he told me that the artist, Baatar, was actually a friend of his._

_So Salri introduced me to Baatar, and we all had drinks that night and stayed up until the dawn discussing everything from Wan Shi Tong's lost library to the potential impacts of medicinal bloodbending. Baatar had such a fascinating mind, such an earnest pair of eyes to look into as he spoke. He was definitely the most timid of our trio, and yet when he spoke about something he was passionate about he could drown the both of us out with his enthusiasm. It was so electric listening to him that I found myself feeling excited about concepts I'd never known a thing about; historical architects and different kinds of drawing paper._

_I asked Baatar whether he'd come back to the commune with us, but he was too busy working on a project, so we agreed to write to one another instead. His letters were methodically laid out, like he'd been plotting them or even drafting them before sitting down to write the final copy; so careful and thoughtful, where you know I can be impulsive._

_Reading Baatar's letters about his work in the busy city of Omashu made me somewhat envious. I was growing tired of the desert, even though I still cared deeply for the family I had there, the people who had opened their arms to me when I stumbled in lost and heartbroken. Despite my love, I felt more and more like I was stuck in an tight, enclosed space. Baatar wrote of towering monuments and bustling markets, while I brushed sand from my every garment, occasionally speared a sand snake, and bent trinkets out of metal just as I had been doing for two years. Life in the desert was no longer novel, and as the last of its shine wore away I was left alone with what I had already known: that this was not my final destination._

_What I really want terrifies and excites me, because after all this time travelling around, attaching myself to other groups and people and insinuating myself into their communities, I want to make something of my own. Take an empty space and begin from scratch. Build a home that's all the things I've realised I want my home to be. If I fail, this will be the greatest failure of my life._

_I leave the commune two days from now (although I will only get to post this letter after I've gone). Baatar has finished his project in Omashu, and the two of us will meet and begin our search for a team to help build this new dream I have. I don't know whether I should ask you (or Grandma and Grandpa) for money to invest in this project. I wouldn't even voice my consideration if it weren't for the fact that my current main investor is Baatar, whose parents are only moderately well off, and who has been willing to sacrifice his entire earnings from his last project in order to get our new one off the ground. I have a vision, yes, but that seems to be all I'm bringing to the table right now. I'll have to come out swinging when it comes to wooing potential investors. The metalbending community would probably be the best group to target in that regard. After living in a commune all this talk of such large sums of money makes me nauseous. I wish I could simply challenge economics to a bending battle, but economics will only play its own long, sly, selfish game._

_I suppose there's never really such thing as beginning from scratch. Any destination is the product of every road taken to reach it, and the route I took here has prepared me in some but not all ways for the road ahead. Still, I have set out on far lonelier roads with far, far less in my pockets._

_Baatar and I are going to Ba Sing Se to stay with his parents for a while as we prepare our plans and secure the plot of land for our development. I'll be able to phone and speak to you directly once I'm there, rather than having to write. Perhaps, if you're up for the trip, you could come and stay with us in the big city too._

_Give Lin my best wishes, if she'll tolerate them._

_Love, Suyin_

‹›

_To Lin,_

_I can only assume that you received my earlier letter and opted to ignore it. I wish you would change your mind. Write to me. Speak with me on the phone like Mom will be doing once I arrive in Ba Sing Se soon. Get to know the person I've become, and you may even find yourself able to stand me. I have so many stories and so much news that I want to share with you. I've imagined a future that I'm about to pursue with the most excitement and trepidation I've ever felt, and I want you to be a part of it. I want my sister in my life again._

_Suyin_

 

‹›

_Dear Mom,_

_Electricity is off on site for now as some of the bigger metal pieces are installed. It's risky business working with as much metal as we're using, and Baatar wanted to be on the safe side, so we're back in the dark ages communications-wise. It's been, what, four years since I sat down and penned a letter to you like this. There's a distinct nostalgia to it now, along with impatience at not being able to simply dial your number as I usually would. I'm probably going to have to find a hawk to deliver this—that or risk the royal Ba Sing Se delivery system. (I might as well bury this letter in one of the giant piles of dirt left from excavating the outer train tunnels, and be done with it)._

_I'm writing to tell you two things—and maybe it's nice, actually, that they get to be put down on paper instead of just thrown out through the phone to dissipate in the air. The first thing is that Baatar and I have named our city at last. It's starting to actually look like a city, instead of just a makeshift camp in the middle of a building site. We've erected a lot of residential buildings and cleaned up the streets enough that people have begun to move in. We've also finished all the groundwork for the domes, so the petals are now underway. It's all even more amazing than I imagined. It's all_ _real. When you get time you should come back and see what progress we've made. Come and visit Zaofu._

_The second piece of news is that Baatar and I are engaged to be married. I know this kind of news is best delivered in person, but I'm so thrilled that I simply can't wait. I know you'll say that things have moved too fast between us, but we've been working closely on Zaofu for years, and all of that time has been a precursor to this. I told Baatar that we couldn't be romantically involved for as long as I did because I thought it was best for the project, but I couldn't have been more wrong. We've been partners, parents of this city that is our baby, since those very first days of planning in Ba Sing Se. Spirits, his mother and I butted heads back then. To be fair, she thought I was dragging the family into financial ruin. She's very happy for us now that residents are flocking to the Earth Kingdom's shiniest and most progressive city._

_I hope that you will be happy for us as well. I am as happy as I have ever been._

_Give Lin my best._

_Love, Suyin._

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't resist the Fall Out Boy title. 
> 
> I'm also on tumblr as henrymercury these days, so come hang with me there if you like.


End file.
